His eyes and head hurt from the new glasses, and the ophthalmologist now advises against wearing contact lenses. Apparently, it's because of the concussion. According to him, everyone without exception has one these days.
“Which ones hurt more — the regular ones or the tactical ones?”
“It's the same, because the lenses in both are identical. I'm always in glasses anyway, right now I’m wearing the regular ones, and when I take them off in the evening — it’s like I’m blind”.
The prescription for these glasses was written at the city clinic while he was on leave.
But during another military medical commission, a different ophthalmologist (the one who works with the military) discovered the prescription was written incorrectly, with no consideration for astigmatism! And he had already shelled out another 7,000 hryvnias for those “wrong” glasses — both regular and tactical!
The new glasses, prescribed by this doctor, are just fine.
“I’ve only come across good doctors here, honestly”, - he says.
Between deployments to the front line, they were stationed in a village near the front. They’re constantly busy, like on a regular job. But judging by his stories, it seems like most of the time is spent running around medical institutions, seeing doctors, going through endless medical commissions and gathering infinite paperwork to document injuries.
It’s hard for me to believe him when he says that “everyone gets wounded” without exception. And it’s hard for him to believe me when I say that some of my acquaintances got through it without injuries. It’s like we’re talking about two different wars. That’s how much everything has changed in 11 years, especially in the last three. I still have this stereotype in my head about war: old Aidar Battalion guys in rubber sandals with rifles barefoot, and “militia” guys wearing shabby russian camo that looks ridiculous on them, holding rifles like umbrellas while standing in line at a supermarket.
He says: “Out here, they’re tying cucumbers to the drone nets in the kitchen gardens”.
And I didn’t even know what a drone net was! Took me forever to figure it out.
It feels like everything changes by the minute.
On energy drinks as a tuning fork for pricing policy
"Can I come visit you?"
"No need”, - he says.
"Why not?"
"Just no need. Mom, here (in the front-line towns where the military is stationed — OstroV) a can of energy drink sells for over a hundred hryvnia minimum".
"What do I need an energy drink for??"
"It’s just an example! Prices here are insane. Drones fly right into houses! And getting here means three transfers and a whole day through checkpoints".
He did start drinking energy drinks.
"This place is littered with their empty cans".
After that call, I specifically checked the prices here. And yeah, they are way cheaper, it almost made me laugh at how dramatic that “example” was.
At home, on leave, every trip he makes to the store ends with: “Damn, everything’s so cheap here”.
"The locals don’t like us. We don’t like them either. They steal gas, steal stuff from the cars…"
"That’s probably just the kind of people who stayed, the rest must have left".
"A mix stayed… Today I was walking down the street, some old lady was weeding her kitchen garden — she practically bowed to me. But a lot of people are making a profit off us… And some even say that we’re the reason they’re getting shelled. They seriously come complaining about it".
"My Aidar buddies said back in 2014: no one likes seeing a soldier in their yard", - I say.
"But we didn’t act like this in 2014!"
Oh…
On prostitution and “professional widows”
Still on the topic of “profiting” — I already knew, even without him saying it — local colleagues say prostitution is thriving there. He mostly stays silent about it.
That overlaps with something I heard from an experienced psychologist who's been working with people affected by war for a long time. Turns out, for women involved in prostitution (especially those working over there) some NGOs actually offer professional psychological help. And they really do need that help. These women earn (I’ll allow myself to use that exact word) up to five thousand dollars a month.
It’s not about the money (they think in completely different scales there), it’s about reality. I know how this topic can be viewed. I know one can pretend to be a prude, or sincerely be one. But this is reality.
“They chased the prostitutes off the other day, and that’s good. That shouldn’t be happening”, - he says.
God, where does that kind of harshness come from... It seems like I, as his mother, should be the one with such strict views, should be worried about it, warning him, all that... But I’m strangely tolerant here. And the last thing I fear in this world is him becoming a “client”.
People I know from there say that sometimes prostitutes get called in just to talk. I mean, have a drink and talk... I remember hearing exactly the same thing about russian soldiers in the Luhansk oblast.
What disgusts me more as a mother when it comes to “male-female relationships” is something else. Lately, there’s been this vile trend in social media of people saying that some girls/women supposedly marry young assault soldiers up to three times: one gets buried, she collects the payout, marries the second… and so on — till the end of time...
They write the same about russian women too. Except that’s been around for a while, because their military payouts have been big for a long time. And now suddenly, we’ve got our own “experts” on wives of assault troops — ever since talk of millions began and the push to motivate volunteers ramped up.
That whole idea of “professional war widows” makes me furious.
Honestly, I can’t even imagine when or how he might decide to get married now — between injuries, fortifications, the glasses saga, and the bodies of fallen comrades... But if he does, I’ll be happy for him.
Right now, the women around him are a few instructors, doctors, nurses, and some other specialists… And there’s only one fellow soldier who was with him on the front line. She’s older. An assault medic. Experienced and mature. She has to carry not only her regular gear but also medical equipment to the position. A woman’s body is different, so the guys carry her load for her. That’s just how it is — there are few, if any, women among the assault units.
They respect her a lot… He says she’s good, but too kind.
And — nope, my future daughter-in-law, the mother of my future grandchildren, isn’t anywhere on that short list... I know it for sure, I can feel it.
Anna Hamova, for OstroV